This past week has been a hard one for me… and I hope you will excuse this personal blog entry, but my father, Robert VanDrimmelen Jr. passed away this past Saturday. He was only 54 years old, so it was a bit of a surprise.
My Dad was an educator… in every sense of the word. He taught youth and young adults religious lessons for our church. He taught them about God, and God’s plan for us. He taught them the great stories from the scriptures, but most of all he taught and showed them that God loved them.
Being the oldest boy, the responsibility of the eulogy fell upon me and early Tuesday morning I wrote much of the following blog entry for that eulogy. I would like to put it up here in remembrance of him. However unworthy a vehicle, I am going to try to give one last great lesson from Brother Van… for that is what almost everyone that knew him called him. I have titled each section after a Brother-Van’ism… or something he loved to say..
#1. “It’s my one Talent”
Growing up with Dad I had the privilege and honor to hear all of his jokes and sayings… again and again… and again. ? One of his favorite was to open the door for everyone and when they said thank you, he would say, “I’m thinking about making a career out of it” or “I hear there’s good money in door holding,” or “It’s my one talent.” This last one “It’s my one talent” comes from a doctrinal teaching that every man has, at very least, one gift from God. He always joked that he only had one, and it was holding doors. In reality, however, Dad had many, many gifts and cultivated one’s that he didn’t have my nature.
The first lesson is to learn your talents, and then develop and use them… and now this is the key part… for good. Learn, develop and use your talents for good.
In his younger years, Dad played sports… a lot. He played football, and baseball really well, but what we wanted to really play was basketball… so he spent countless hours in the gym and all of us kids have young memories are going to the gym to “shoot baskets” with Dad. He joked that he wanted to play the one sport that he was not a natural at so he had to work hard at it. And perhaps it is just my young memory, but he was GOOD! He was really good.
But he also knew his limits… kind of. I say that half jokingly, because he couldn’t play basketball and run like he used to when he got into his 40’s and 50’s and it was really hard for him at times. One of the most comforting parts about Dad passing on, however, is know that in these later years he conquered one of his greatest obstacles, his body.
Pretty much everything else I write about are other talents and gifts that Dad has. Do not think, however, that all these talents came easy… he worked on them, each and every one of them… consciously and consistently.
#2. “It’s a Goal I’m working On.”
I remember once Dad was out visiting us in North Carolina and we went to a little Merovingian Village nearby (Dad loved to take little trips like this). We all parked and just walked to the front door in the most direct route possible, straight across the street. I get about ½ way in and look back to see Dad running down a sidewalk so he can cross the street at a crosswalk (despite the fact that there are no cars anywhere nearby). I’m curious so I ask him when he catches up what he’s doing and he just says “It’s a Goal I’m working on.” A little more probing and I find that Dad feels that if we can’t be obedient in the simple things (like following the law) how can the Lord trust us with great things?
Dad had goals out the Ying-Yang and he was one of the most organized guys you have ever met. If it was in the Day-Timer (or amazingly enough… Palm… the past couple of years) it got done. If not… yeah, chances weren’t so good. In 1980 he set a goal to keep a daily journal and the past couple of days I have had the opportunity to begin searching through the result of that goal… almost an entire BOOKSHELF full of journals. He kept everything. If you sent him a wedding announcement it went in there. Eagle Court of Honor’s, Graduation Announcements, Cards of any type… even little notes… they all went in the journal. It is an AMAZING history of his life. … I have been given the charge to abridge these large plates for our family… ? It was so insightful for me to me to read the journal entries of a young father and the struggles that come along with that, and then to see the way he had matured over the years because of his constant vigilance.
So the second principle is… do you got it? I’m sure you probably got a couple out of that last one, but for me it is to Set Goals, and Constantly Review Them. Although I haven’t seen the goals yet, Mom says Dad had 8 pages of current goals he was working on when he died.
#3. “Hold on, just a second.”
I can’t count the number of times we would be doing something and Dad would say “Hold on just a second” and whip out his Day-Timer and jot down a little note. This note would usually say something to the effect of “Call so and so” or “Write letter” or “Check up on…” Dad was especially adept at following the promptings of the Spirit. He knew, that the Lord knew better than he ever could, the needs of the people he associated with, and he truly strived to be an worthy tool in Father’s hand to follow those promptings. Throughout the years, I, or my wife, would occasionally get a letter from Dad saying that he loved us, or was just thinking of us, and I know that those letters were him following a prompting of the Spirit. I believe also, that the Lord knew that Dad would listen and act on those promptings too.
Third lesson: Listen and ACT on promptings of the Spirit
#4. “Keep your Arms and Hands Inside the Ride at all Time and… “
It was really important to Dad to go and do things as a family. I can’t count the number of road trips we took to Texas, Utah, some random “ghost town,” or just some fun looking attraction on a map. He loved just getting in the car and driving.
One of our favorites from our younger years was Lagoon in northern Utah, a theme park like Six Flags with rollercoaster’s and other rides. As you board the rides at Lagoon they always said “Keep your Arms and Hands Inside the Ride at all Times and Have Fun.” Dad adopted this saying and used it often in his life. I can’t think of a more appropriate saying for my Dad than this.
All of us who were privileged to learn at the feet of this great educator know he has an amazing wit and easily puts all those he talks to at ease using humor in any situation. But what is most amazing is ability to bring it back to spiritual matters instantly. I saw him do this time and again in the classroom and individually.
When I was a young boy I remember once going to Desert Industries with my father to do some service. When we got there I watched as Brother Van introduced himself to dozens of people and would then ask them their name. No matter what they said, he would then put a huge grin on is face and say “Oh… another So-and-So… and you admit that,” implying that their family name was something to be ashamed of. Everyone caught the obvious joke and were instantly attracted to this great bear of a man. ? He would then sometimes joke about some crazy uncle or something, but then in all seriousness tell the person how much he respected their family. Any of you ever had your family heritage questioned by Brother Van?
Fourth principle, Have Fun
#5. “VanClan”
Dad would have fun in all sorts of ways, but he was especially good at creating traditions. A couple of years ago he had the brilliant idea to make some t-shirts for Christmas. On the front is a little VanClan with smiliey faces and on the back he put little family sayings, important places and names. Dad also loved to write poems and short stories. Most of the time the poems were really cheesy bad writing. Now all of us kids, and even Mom, can write cheesy poems too.. ? In the program you will find a poem that we (by we, I mean Randi and Aubrey) put together that has some of these great Dad-ism tradtions and humor.
After years of laughing & learning & playing
We now must momentarily say goodbye.
In this time of our Father’s Passing
Let us share memories of this awesome guy!
Words of wisdom came from his mouth
In funny & unique ways.
These are a compilation of the words
That will guide us all our days.
A gaggle of geeks is what he had
And nicknames he gave us all.
Greeber, Grunt, Goober, Iggy & Bunks –
These are the names he would call.
“You’re old enough to decide for yourself”
To “Always be the good kid.”
Remember feet are handy but hands aren’t feety…
Words by which we should live.
“Snow, snow, snow snow”
Whether in Utah, Vegas or Texas
Each year we gathered together
To “Dream of White Christmas.”
So “Scrud you old pot licker”
There are watermelon seeds to be spit,
Fries and fry sauce, sausage and potatoes –
Times at the cabin were always a hit!
With his sweet wife “Sugar Booger”
Often to Sea World they would run
“Keep your arms and legs inside the ride
Thank you and have fun!”
But the greatest truth he taught us all
Will be passed down to his pitter patters.
We will remember his words though eternity.
“The Gospel is True! What else Matters?”
Some others that didn’t make it into the poem or t-shirt, but certainly could have been included would have been “Polish Sausage”, “Speak in a Language a Dutchman can understand”, “You can pick your friends”, “Of all the fishes in the sea…”, “Whose fault?”, “Whoot!”, and “Pftttt!”
Fifth Lesson: Family time, and family traditions are a priority!
#6 “Where’s the Line Jeff?”
When I was a kid I was like most other little boys… shall we say a bit rambunctious… okay, quite a bit rambunctious. My Dad tried to teach me what was appropriate and what was not by drawing a hypothetical “line.” When I was acting a bit crazy he would say “Jeff, where’s the line?” and I would know I was getting close… or perhaps even already over “the line.” I was/am a bit slow and he used it so often that eventually it just progressed into a hand signal to try and keep me on course.
Last week at Jennie’s wedding, Joseph (my oldest, a 7 year old boy) was acting a bit too much like his Dad and my Dad heard me say “Where’s the line Joseph.” He just laughed and laughed and said it had now come full circle. However, I know for a fact that my Dad is the reason that Grandma Van didn’t have more kids, so it had truly come full circle.
I also found out early that there was one thing where a line was not needed or even allowed… that had to do with my sweet mother. I remember clearly hearing the phrase “I’ll splatter you against that wall if… “ insert something terrible I may have done to my mom that day. He was mom’s biggest fan. He loved and respected her fiercely. He never did throw me against a wall… ?, but he did teach me to respect women and more importantly, to love.
And that love went far outside of the home. Dad found out early that he was a natural born leader and where some men would have used that gift for their own gain, Dad never did… instead he looked for those that needed his help and influence in their life. For most of his adult life he went to the temple each week, partly because he knew that he should, but more so, because he knew the power and strength it gave him to move forward, lead, and help others. It was his way to recharge his batteries. He would give every last bit of himself to others… and then a little more.
Sixth and last lesson: Love and serve with all your heart! He loves each and every one of you and he would want me to let you know that today.
We received many, many letters folks who wrote of Dad’s love for them. They felt of it were changed by that love and compassion. I just want to share one letter with you. This is from a young fellow that served as a counselor to my Dad in Las Vegas when he was a bishop there. He said:
I was just reflecting this week on service with Bob, what a wonderful, wonderful man he was (and is). As I was reading President Monson’s talk from Priesthood session, I thought of Bob and how perfectly President Monson’s words described him. He said:
To you who are fathers of boys or who are leaders of boys, I say, strive to be the kind of example the boys need. The father, of course, should be the prime example, and the boy who is blessed with a worthy father is fortunate indeed. Even an exemplary family, however, with diligent and faithful father and mother, can use all the supportive help they can get from good men who genuinely care. There is also the boy who has no father or whose father is not currently providing the type of example needed. For that boy, the Lord has provided a network of helpers within the Church—bishops, advisers, teachers, Scoutmasters, home teachers. When the Lord’s program is in effect and properly working, no young man in the Church should be without the influence of good men in his life.
The effectiveness of an inspired bishop, adviser, or teacher has very little to do with the outward trappings of power or an abundance of this world’s goods. The leaders who have the most influence are usually those who set hearts afire with devotion to the truth, who make obedience to duty seem the essence of manhood, who transform some ordinary routine occurrence so that it becomes a vista where we see the person we aspire to be.
Bob was that kind of leader. He taught me more in the short time we served together than any other person. Of mortal men, [I’m glad he made this distinction, for there was one who we should never forget] I hold him as the ideal that I strive to emulate in all of my service. He was so humble, so teachable, so trusting in the Lord. Like President Monson said, he set my heart afire with devotion to the truth, he was obedient in such a way that it was the essence of manhood and of what it meant to hold the Priesthood, and he showed such faith in me and in what I could become. (Jim Fontano)
I chose to share this story because it is not an uncommon one. Dad was constantly reaching out to others to help them. He taught me when I was in high-school that it is the VanDrimmelen way to reach out to those that are struggling and those who need a helping hand. Now that makes sense… but to a self-centered teenager it was revolutionary. He walked the walk and talked the talk..
Okay, before I get too emotional… let’s review Brother Van’s life lessons… at least the few we mention here today:
- Learn, develop, and use your talents for good.
- Set goals and constantly review them.
- Listen and ACT on the promptings of the Spirit
- Have Fun!
- Family time an family traditions are a priority
- Love and serve with all your heart!
I’m sure there are many other components to following the example of this great man, but this is a good start…
Now, as Brother Van would say… what are you going to do? I want you to think of one or two things that you should or can do in your life? Do you have your list? Good… now ACT on that list.
Goodbye
Now the part where it gets hard… Dad, you will be missed. Thank you for all you taught me. Thank you for example, and love, and guidance. I, and so many of us, would not be the people we are today without you. You are certainly a guy to ride the river with, and we are grateful for the opportunity we had to ride with you. You and Grandpa get the snowmobiles gassed up and ready, it won’t be long before we are all there with you.
There a time and season for all things. The world lost a great man when my father died on Saturday, but earth’s loss is heaven’s gain… and he would want us to take the lessons of his life and go forth and serve those around us till we are reunited again.
Faith
How grateful I am for the gospel plan that teaches us that we can be families forever. I KNOW that I will see Dad again. I know that as I live worthy I can be with him and my own family forever! Isn’t the gospel awesome?
I know, like my father knew before me, that Jesus, the perfect man, lived long ago who provided salvation for us all. I’m so grateful for a father who truly pattered his life after Christ, the greatest man of all.
I am so grateful for the atonement… especially this week. It is real. It has not only the power to save us, but the power to take away our pain when we are suffering. Perhaps most important for today, it also has the power to resurrect us so we can be with our loved ones in the eternities.
The gospel IS true brother’s and sisters! Does anything else matter?
Let me start this post off with a little story. I started working in IT about 5 years ago. One of the downfalls of working with technology is that sometimes you think you can fix anything. Well… I knew I should be backing up my data and made some paltry CD backups, but never really took it seriously. I told myself “I am a techie and can fix anything.”
EduTechie.com 
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